Lord, Suffer the Grumpy to Come Unto You

There are two times of the day when I have a tendency to be grumpy, when I am awake and when I am asleep. My wife thought about waking up grumpy the other day, but she let me sleep. There is a fine line between grumpy and gravitas . . . and I am currently doing a dance on the line with the music only I can hear in my mind.
Seriously, there is a lot of truth in what I said here and the older I get the more I find it enjoyable to play the part of the grumpy theologian/academician/dad/papa. If you know just enough, grumpiness can become an interesting way to manage the younger generation or, for that matter, anyone else with whom you have to spend a lot of time. Grumpiness is a nice foil for dealing with the self-righteous, pompous and arrogant, being somewhere between the manifestation of karma and the foreshadowing of truth hitting the fan. In many ways, I have to wonder if Jesus' answer to the rich young lawyer wasn't more of a grumpy answer that others took as loving, than an affirmation of all that he had done with a charge to him of one more thing to accomplish. Hmmmmm.
If anyone were justified in being grumpy with me, it would be God because, Lord knows, I have provided ample reason in my day. Still, God is steadfast in love . . .
And, that is what has been on my mind today. Anyone who knows anything about those who drink coffee know that you really, really, really, really, really shouldn't bug them much before they have had a chance to drink that first cup of coffee . . . completely, quietly, lovingly. There is little in the world so important that it cannot wait for the sound of the coffee cup being refilled with the hot fresh gift of the cosmos before announcing what next needs to be addressed. Can I get an 'Amen' here??
That truth holding validity throughout the ages places my wife in a perpetual state of peril. Most mornings I get up, have a quick breakfast, shower, get dressed and grab my first cup of coffee as I am walking out the door, to be consumed as I drive the half hour trek to the congregation I serve. Any items of daily business to be discussed, any thoughts she had throughout the night or any hopes of just having an idle conversation with me before I leave . . . well, those are deep and dangerous waters, indeed. I have not had my first cup of coffee.
If that were not enough, when I finally return after what can sometimes be a long, emotional and draining day, the last drops of office coffee still coursing through my veins, my beloved wife has to face a person who cannot wait for some personal space, a fair amount of silence and ample time just to figure out what happened over the last 12-14 hours before dealing with anything or anyone else. Bottom line, most often my bride of over 43 years gets the worst of me, at the most difficult times, when I am neither ready or willing to spend time with anyone and when least I am ready to be understanding, pastoral or caring with one more person. She gets 'grumpy' me more often than she deserves and then I am left wondering why, once in a while, she gives me 'that look', turns on her heel and walks away. 'Here, honey, let's have a cup of coffee and talk about what you are feeling', is the last thing she wants or needs to hear.  Without a doubt, I have given her every right to be her kind of grumpy, with me.
If I am willing and, clearly, able to do this with my own wife, whom I deeply love and cherish, what is it that I do with God? I pray for God's love, yet am I loving of God? I long for God's peace, but do I ever give God reason for peace? I really hope that God listens to my prayers, yet do I ever listen to God's prayers for me? I want God to be patient with me, but am I ever patient with God? 
Does God watch me get up in the morning, then warn all of creation, 'Watch it! Mr. Grumpy is up and has not had his first cup of coffee!'? Does God observe me driving home late of an evening and gather the angels in conference, trying to figure out how to protect everyone else around me from what I am becoming?
I may be Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in Grumpy Old Men, all rolled up into one person - without my coffee and at the end of the day, but that still is not a reason to truly and genuinely treat others as I would have them treat me, is it? Hmmmm, that sounds vaguely Biblical. Maybe the most clear answer to my wonderment is the very fact that I am wondering about it.
Perhaps my prayer should be, 'On earth, in me, with me, through me, as it is in Heaven, in You, with You, through You, Lord Jesus'. My Lord, You already know Nancy deserves better, don't you? So do You. Please know I am working on it . . . steaming cup of coffee by my side or not.
Something to ponder on the journey.
(c)dcw2020 

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